Like the wrench and the cracker

So this morning (ie noon thirty) when I got to work I shared an elevator ride in the parking deck with 5 young male med students.  They are often running about my office building as they have classes and lectures and the what not.  Sometimes I say hello or just click past them in my heels hoping they think that I’ve already achieved my goals (as indicated by high heels and photo badge on zippy retractable thing) and should therefore be envied or asked out.  So in the elevator I would have normally stood up a little straighter, been grateful for my cleavage and tried to decide which eyebrow to raise exactly how high to transform the vacant look in my eyes into something mysterious.  This time however I didn’t care that I probably should have washed my hair this morning or that my pants were wrinkled and arguably too short since they revealed my non-matching socks.  (I’m not a total hobo, they matched each other just not my outfit)  Why this change you ask?  Well before we entered said elevator we were walking down neighboring ramps and I heard them reviewing their menus selections from lunch at Moe’s.  One of them inevitably said something about beans which immediately hijacked the conversation.  I think/hope that they didn’t know that I’d heard the first part of their conversation and so openly made fart jokes in what they thought was code if I hadn’t heard the first bean reference.

“I hear it’s good for your heart”

 ”It’s a  fruit you know”

“Like a fine wine, it ages with time” (I’m sorry is there anything that doesn’t age with time?  Isn’t the concept of time the basis for the process of aging?)

These guys are going to be doctors.  We might all luck out, they might all become proctologists and they can joke away and write off their bean lunches as research.  Or plastic Surgeons and once and for all separate time and ageing.

Sigh.

…what people do want is a chance to take a break at work while appearing productive, assuming they have one of those screen privacy thingys.  What people want is a break from trying to pry giant panties off her son.  They want to procrastinate, they want to ruminate for the lord, rise up bloggin and they want to take my hand, salt lick sucks, nettie and Liam is 2!!

Huh?

I you got all of those references then your favorites list looks like mine.

So who am I to hinder those efforts.  I believe firmly in the golden rule and so here is a new blog post.  My goal is to post two times a week.  Not as crazy as everyday and not as pathetic as once every six weeks.  I also believe firmly in compromise.

So to make this post worth your while, here are some cute things my nieces have said:

( as we passed Stonecrest on I-20)

JJ (age 2) “What’s that?” (breathy and amazed)

Alibear (age 5) -sighing resignedly- “The Whole World”

JJ (pause) “Do they have animals there?”

Alibear “I don’t think so”

 Why is it that kids pick up on and speak truths with such speed and accuracy?  JJ also doesn’t that she should use nicknames in place of proper names when she can combine them instead.  For example, my sister Isabelle also goes by Izzy and so JJ calls her Izzybelle.  So now I do too.  And my kitten whom I refer to as Roxanne has recently been upgraded to Roxyzanne.

I think she’ll be a publicist when she grows up.  Unless…..she also has been known to proclaim at rest time that she is NOT going to close her eyes “and that’s my choice!”  So maybe a replacement for Stephen Colbert,  or the next Gloria Steinem.  Good thing I don’t have to decide her future.

It’s midnight, that’s my excuse